When I decided to star in my very own episode of The Simple Life, I knew I had to make Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie proud. So I set out for the land of the Hoosiers, where I spent some quality time living the farm life. I arrived a little too early to help harvest the corn, but luckily, I possessed the perfect body type to stand in the fields and scare off the birds. I took my shift in both the corn and wheat fields, all while showing my host family the proper way to press their Sunday best.

After wrangling the birds with my natural intimidation skills, I had to recuperate on the fence for a moment — the humidity can really take its toll on a desert rat. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to sunbathe before being recruited to help prepare two separate corn cribs for the upcoming harvest.

Once all of my chores were done, we headed out to the local Walmart — which, for the record, is not a store that just sells wall stuff.

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